Dev-astating

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the Feb 9 episode on CBC

What is it about Dev? Mr. Allahan and the term 'bad breakup' seem to be almost synonymous. Dev's romantic escapades have often ended with high drama. Over the years, ex-lovers have threatened him (Thanks Nina), wrecked his apartment and cut his clothes into tiny pieces (Thanks, Tracey) and. last but not least, tried to blow him up with a gas stove (Thanks Maya).

Now some may say that Dev is a little... how you say... 'economical with the truth' and that's why he keeps getting into trouble. Fair enough, Dev is definitely 'honesty challenged' and he never seems to learn his lesson. You would think that after his failed marriage to Sunita (you remember: when he forgot to tell Sunita that he had affairs with practically every woman in every one of his corner shops) that Dev would get it. Or, perhaps when he was turfed out of WAFTA (Weatherfield Area Free Trade Association) or whatever it was called - by Prem. But no, here he goes again and Tara is plotting to make this breakup perhaps the most excruciating humiliation yet.

The set-up is courtesy of Justin, budding artist and shutterbug, who managed to get some juicy snaps of the Devster in the buff and, in the process, answered that thorny question: boxers or briefs? (Actually they looked like the world's largest boxers! - ed). I wonder what Tara will do with those racy x-rated pics?

Well, one suggestion would be to put up a series of the 'Dev unplugged' photos in the gallery. (They would certainly be a noted improvement over the current crop of dreary oeuvres hanging there - i.e. 'Canal at dusk with rusted Freshco shopping cart' - ed).

However, I think Tara is planning something more public (I think you meant to spell 'public' without the 'l' - ed). In other words, don't be surprised if the old Allahan 'jewels in the crown' get top billing in downtown Weatherfield. Could be the biggest municipal event since Alf Roberts was elected mayor...

The 5th Beatle?

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the February 3 episode on CBC

John. Paul, George, Ringo... and Umed? Have I missed something? Was Umed that guy playing the sitar in 'Help'? Was he on stage at Shea Stadium? That's right, according to no less an authority than Umed himself, Dev's chunky uncle (chuncle? - ed) is a Mumbai moptop and practically the fifth Beatle (step aside George Martin & Pete Best).

It seems that George Harrison and Umed were hanging out at Ravi Shankar's condo in India talking about material posessions, poverty, drum lessons for Ringo and whether or not the walrus was Paul. Anyway, long story short, Umed says he was the inspiration for George's Concert for Bangladesh. (wish I'd kept that three-record boxed set -ed)

Although the Fab Five never appeared in public, I certainly wish I could have seen Umed perform (I hear his rendition of 'Nowhere Nan' could bring tears to your eyes - ed). As for Umed's nephew, Dev, it looks like his chickens are coming home to roost. Tara (who is suddenly best friends with Poppy - who knew?) has discovered that Dev and Lisa took the 'Long and Winding Road' up to Dev's place and had a little 'Magical Mystery Tour' of the Allahan abode before engaging in a little, how you say, 'Ob li di, Ob la da' .

Now it looks like Dev is going to have a showdown with Tara. If I had to pick an outcome, I would go with that song from the famous songwriting team of Lennon-McCartney-Umed who once said: "You're going to lose that girl"

The Bollywood Graduate

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the July 2 episode on CBC

So, it all becomes clear. Dev is the graduate. Nina is Mrs. Robinson and her beautiful young daughter, Tara, is Elaine. It's 'The Graduate', Bollywood-style so let the fun and games begin.

I guess the first big clue was that infamous 'leg shot' of Dev while he was having it off with Nina a few episodes back. That was just an appetizer (a samosa surely? - ed) for the action to come. Dev is invited over to Prem and Nina's for dinner. He comes armed with a box of the finest chocolates that money can buy - from The Kabin - which Norris is only too happy to unload. (Seems no-one on the Street wants to pay 16 pounds for candy which saw its best buy date elapse during the Thatcher years).

But Prem has a surprise in 'store' for Dev (ixnay on the puns - ed). He introduces the Devster to his comely young daughter, Tara, who is in town for a visit. Tara is currently working in London but is thinking of escaping the excitement, energy and verve of one of the world's great capitals for the charms of Weatherfield where a gal can take time to just stop and smell the roses (unless the canal is backed up on a hot day).

At dinner the chemistry is electric. Dev shows that he still has all the player moves as he reels off witty lines like, "This sauce is amazing." Meanwhile Nina is the consummate green-eyed monster, undercutting Dev's qualities at every opportunity. Prem says Dev has 'a retail empire'. Nina says he has 'corner shops'. And so on. No matter, Tara is definitely intrigued by Dev and vice versa. Nina is becoming suspicious, jealous and angry. She tries to slam the door on the Tara-Dev relationship before it begins. "I'm afraid that's not going to happen," she hisses as she quickly escorts Dev out of her home. "My husband may have some strange ideas but they're easily dealt with." (what strange ideas? spontaneous combustion? fur underwear?).

So the stage is set for The Graduate, Bollywood style. If memory serves me correctly (unlikely - ed), the original Graduate with Dustin Hoffman back in 1967 eventually worked out okay for Ben and Elaine. Who knows how the Bollywood version will end? In the meantime, 'Here's to you Mr. Allahan... etc etc.'

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Hip Pocket: Blanche is back with the best line of the week ('natch) about none other than John Stapes, "Once a Thomas strays, they never settle again - unless you get them doctored." Thanks for visiting and enjoy the Sunday omnibus. I'll be back next Tuesday.