The irrepressible, neanderthalesque Tom called it a "ten point plan for oblivion". He was talking about Tony's stag 'do' and, as it gets underway at Roy's Rolls, it has all the earmarks of a wild and crazy day. (In sharp contrast, you can hear the crickets above the stony silence at Carla's hen party). Tony's bachelor festival is brimming with close, personal acquaintances on the Street (I had no idea that Ryan and Tony were such mates) But strangely no family members or actual friends are at the event. Hmm. No matter, the ten-point plan has been launched and I imagine it goes something like this:
1. Put on Tony Gordon masks and t-shirts
2. Take turns ringing Kevin's doorbell and pretending to be Tony. (Lloyd, Dev & Tom accidentally get punched in the face)
3. Breakfast at Roy's Rolls then everyone goes over to the factory, wearing the masks, and takes turns telling Janice she's fired. (Ryan, Jason & Tom accidentally get punched in the face)
4. More ale & champagne
5. Pouting contest (Liam's idea). Whoever sulks the longest wins. Liam wins. To celebrate his victory, he sulks some more. No-one can figure out when the contest is over. (Tom accidentally gets punched in the face)
6. More ale
7. Paintballing. The group divides into two teams: 'Tony's Tigers' & 'Liam's Layabouts'
8. More ale
9. Kirk is rushed to the hospital as paramedics wonder how anyone can accidentally shoot themselves in the back of the head - with their own paintball gun - while wearing a Tony Gordon mask.
10. Tony and Liam challenge each other to a paintball duel. First person to put primer and a satin finish latex on the other, wins.
shots from the hip.... thanks for the encouraging comments. Much appreciated. Drop by tomorrow as I unveil a fake excerpt from Blanche's diary (since she's nowhere to be found on the street I have no choice but to imagine what she might think of current goings on). Cheers.