Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Liam the love zombie

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the July 28 episode on CBC

Remember when Carla managed to insinuate herself back into Liam's life by secretly investing in his new company? For the bargain price of £50,000, she got part ownership in a budding t-shirt company ('Sad rags'? - ed) and an opportunity to torture Liam - all at the same time.

So what was she thinking? That she would be able to turn Liam on and off like a water fountain on Bessie Street? Bad idea. Liam has transformed from a dark, sullen, brooding fellow into an even more dark, sullen brooding fellow. We don't know exactly why or how, but he has become a single-minded robot, a love zombie and his caveman mantra seems to be: 'me want Carla, must have Carla!' (Must be taking elocution lessons from Terry Duckworth - ed). Carla's little teasefest is now completely out of control.

"Why are you doing this?" asks Carla when Liam pops over to get an eyeful (and more) of the tasty bride while the Tonester is out for the night.
"Because I'm sick and tired of trying not to," replies Liam with that now-familiar Tim Horton trademark glazed look in his eyes.

After Carla 'clip clops' across the room in her heels to remove her bridal outerwear, the twosome have it off and manage to finish up their horizontal hijinks mere moments before Tony shows up - sick to his stomach with rage and resentment (either that or he ate a dodgy hotpot - ed). I thought it was impossible, but I even felt a twinge of sympathy for Tony. Not only did he have to endure the inane ramblings of clueless Tom ("Tony, chillax, yeah") at the Rovers but he is about to get married to the woman who's having it off with her late-husband's brother. Yowsa!

Meanwhile, Maria can't catch a break. As winner of the 'Charlie Stubb's bit on the side' award, you'd think she would deserve better and yet there she is sitting alone listening to Adele on the radio singing 'Chasing Pavements'. What happens next? Well, according to Tom, Tony's bachelor party is supposed to be a "10 point plan for oblivion" and Michelle thinks it would be a grand idea to have the hen party and the stag party get together. I don't like the sound of this. Worlds will collide and people, including Carla, will almost certainly get hurt.

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