spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 28 episode on CBC
First, let's have a moment of silence for Leanne... and now a moment of silence for the rabbit. (He'll be missed... unless he winds up in Betty's hotpot - ed). Leanne, we hardy knew ye! (which one? cause it seems one of them is fairly well known - ed). Anyway, the important thing is that Simon is finally coming to terms with his loss (thank goodness they didn't let Ken deliver the eulogy - we'd still be standing in Sally Webster's backyard - ed). And, if I were a betting person, I would say that Peter's mad dash to Leeds means he may be 'United' with Leanne again. Of course, I could be wrong and besides wagering is a mug's game.
Speaking of bets, Steve McDonald is placing a fiver on his lucky horse: 'She's Out'. With a name like that, he can't miss, can he? That depends on the names of the other horses. Let's take a quick look at the racing form. Let's see, the three o'clock...Ah yes, there's:
She's Out: 5-1
Hooch's Revenge: 2-1
Don't Count Your Chickens,: 9-5
Slug It Out: 10-2
Call me Neil: 15-3
She's In Again: 3-1
Steve might want to get rid of Neil's drugs hidden in a box at Streetcars: 17-1
Suddenly, it doesn't seem like such a sure thing anymore...
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
TGIF June 25
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 24 episode on CBC
Well, the week ends with the intrepid 'Odd Squad' (Steve, Becky & Lloyd) trying their best to figure out how to deal with Hooch and clear Becky's name. In the meantime, make way for another editon of TGIF (Tony Gordon, it's Friday), a 'Whitman sampler' of some of the week's memorable lines. Read 'em and weep:
Sally prepares a special birthday dessert for Kevin:
"He’s always loved pavlova "
(Who's Pavlova? I thought he loved Molly)
Claire is tipsy and asking inappropriate questions at Kevin's party:
"Would you ever consider having a vasectomy, Tyrone?"
("depends whether or not I like the vase, I s'ppose, Sal")
Hayley expresses her intense dislike for DC Hooch:
"He’s a disgrace. I'd happily do unspeakable things "
(like refuse to 'top up' his coffee or serve him toast WITHOUT butter)
Becky takes issue when Steve compares her to a pet monkey:
"You saying my backside’s hairy?"
(Of course not, Steve's just a little bummed out)
Kevin pretending that he and Molly are discussing long distance running:
"You're gonna talk me into doing another half marathon"
(yeah, half marathon, half having-it-off)
Jack articulates his preferred after-dinner treat:
"I fancy roly-poly for me afters"
(At least wait until you move into her house)
Blanche hears that Simon saw Peter with his new ladyfriend:
"I heard you were caught in the in flagranti"
(Is that an Italian wine?)
Blanche again on the subject of Peter's prolific dating habits:
"Never mind a betting shop, it’s more like a knocking shop over there"
(don't knock it until you've tried it)
Roy decides to make a rare public display of affection for Becky:
"And now I’m going to do something that I rarely do in public"
(wear your underwear on the outside?)
Jack extols the virtues of Connie's large house:
"Even the pigeons have got their own room"
(great! I'd hate to think they were cooped up)
Tyrone thinks he would have cool nickname if he were a professional billiard player:
"Yeah, Typhoid Tyrone"
(hmm, his enthusiasm is certainly contagious)
Well, the week ends with the intrepid 'Odd Squad' (Steve, Becky & Lloyd) trying their best to figure out how to deal with Hooch and clear Becky's name. In the meantime, make way for another editon of TGIF (Tony Gordon, it's Friday), a 'Whitman sampler' of some of the week's memorable lines. Read 'em and weep:
Sally prepares a special birthday dessert for Kevin:
"He’s always loved pavlova "
(Who's Pavlova? I thought he loved Molly)
Claire is tipsy and asking inappropriate questions at Kevin's party:
"Would you ever consider having a vasectomy, Tyrone?"
("depends whether or not I like the vase, I s'ppose, Sal")
Hayley expresses her intense dislike for DC Hooch:
"He’s a disgrace. I'd happily do unspeakable things "
(like refuse to 'top up' his coffee or serve him toast WITHOUT butter)
Becky takes issue when Steve compares her to a pet monkey:
"You saying my backside’s hairy?"
(Of course not, Steve's just a little bummed out)
Kevin pretending that he and Molly are discussing long distance running:
"You're gonna talk me into doing another half marathon"
(yeah, half marathon, half having-it-off)
Jack articulates his preferred after-dinner treat:
"I fancy roly-poly for me afters"
(At least wait until you move into her house)
Blanche hears that Simon saw Peter with his new ladyfriend:
"I heard you were caught in the in flagranti"
(Is that an Italian wine?)
Blanche again on the subject of Peter's prolific dating habits:
"Never mind a betting shop, it’s more like a knocking shop over there"
(don't knock it until you've tried it)
Roy decides to make a rare public display of affection for Becky:
"And now I’m going to do something that I rarely do in public"
(wear your underwear on the outside?)
Jack extols the virtues of Connie's large house:
"Even the pigeons have got their own room"
(great! I'd hate to think they were cooped up)
Tyrone thinks he would have cool nickname if he were a professional billiard player:
"Yeah, Typhoid Tyrone"
(hmm, his enthusiasm is certainly contagious)
***
That's it for the week, ladies and gentlemen. Thanks for stopping by and have a great weekend. See you next week.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Don't hit the road, Jack
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 23 episode on CBC
I'm very happy that Jack Duckworth has met a nice lady friend, Connie. She shares his interests: pigeons, fine Northern cuisine and hard times. Besides, it's good to have a little company and Jack certainly doesn't deserve to be alone in his twilight years. But now, Jack has apparently decided that it's time for him to move out of Number 9 Coronation Street, away from the domestic squabbles of Tyrone and Molly.
But let's not be hasty, Jack! They don't make stone cladding like that anymore (it's considered hazardous waste - ed) and your little house is a testament to you and Vera: bad wallpaper, terrible Terry and a long marriage. Of course, I can certainly understand why Jack might be tempted to pull up stakes and move in with Connie. Connie owns a huge house with all the mod cons, lots of space for pigeons (they can 'drop in' anytime they like - ed) and a pool table. What could be better?
It all reminds me of a similar story involving the legendary Hilda Ogden. Hilda, Corrie's much loved charwoman was left alone on the show after her husband, Stan, died. In the case of Hilda, she left the Street to become a housekeeper for an affluent doctor in Derby, a well deserved reward for a deserving character. Jack's situation is rather similar. He too has the chance to be well cared for and comfortable and no-one could be more deserving -- but I would certainly miss Jack if he moved on and the Street would be a sadder place without him.
I'm very happy that Jack Duckworth has met a nice lady friend, Connie. She shares his interests: pigeons, fine Northern cuisine and hard times. Besides, it's good to have a little company and Jack certainly doesn't deserve to be alone in his twilight years. But now, Jack has apparently decided that it's time for him to move out of Number 9 Coronation Street, away from the domestic squabbles of Tyrone and Molly.
But let's not be hasty, Jack! They don't make stone cladding like that anymore (it's considered hazardous waste - ed) and your little house is a testament to you and Vera: bad wallpaper, terrible Terry and a long marriage. Of course, I can certainly understand why Jack might be tempted to pull up stakes and move in with Connie. Connie owns a huge house with all the mod cons, lots of space for pigeons (they can 'drop in' anytime they like - ed) and a pool table. What could be better?
It all reminds me of a similar story involving the legendary Hilda Ogden. Hilda, Corrie's much loved charwoman was left alone on the show after her husband, Stan, died. In the case of Hilda, she left the Street to become a housekeeper for an affluent doctor in Derby, a well deserved reward for a deserving character. Jack's situation is rather similar. He too has the chance to be well cared for and comfortable and no-one could be more deserving -- but I would certainly miss Jack if he moved on and the Street would be a sadder place without him.
Friday, June 18, 2010
TGIF June 18
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 17 episode on CBC
The Street fete summary: four tickets to the Cumberland pencil museum (they took all the pencils and put 'em in a pencil museum? - ed), two curries and one analphylactic shock. Well, it could be worse, I guess. At any rate, it's all grist for the TGIF mill (Tony Gordon, it's Friday), a selection of the week's memorable lines. Allez!
Claire is having trouble squeezing donations from Corrie merchants:
"Tight as a bullfighter’s pants the lot of them "
(but not nearly as sexy)
Norris regrets his choice of night-time reading material:
"I knew it was a mistake taking 'The Grocer' to bed"
(Now THAT'S an interesting story line)
Norris is anxious for his lunchtime treat:
"I've got a tongue sandwich waiting at home"
(hopefully, it will give you a lashing)
Betty misunderstands the Hebrew word for audacity:
"Every good businessman should have a certain 'foot spa' "
(a little chutzpah also helps)
Eileen wants Jesse to restrain his free-range bird:
"You can stop painting your saloon frontage and come home and
capture your parrot"
(after that, you can put the bird back in the cage...)
Simon, dressed as Robin, speaking to Weatherfield's finest:
"Don’t worry, coppers, leave crime fighting to us"
(finally, some law enforcement professionals we can rely on)
Ben likes the idea of a contest to see if Umed's curry is better than Teresa's:
"It can be a curry off "
(if Teresa is involved, you can be sure that at least one curry will be 'off')
Mysterious Madame Hunt tells Kelly's fortune:
"Ah, I see there will be fellas, many fellas especially if you keep
dressing like a tart"
(consider it done)
Kelly confuses Deep Vein Thrombosis with something else:
"I had that when I came home from holiday in Tenerife once"
(the doctor gave her an ointment and a Spanish telephone directory and told her to contact the appropriate parties)
Emily lets loose at Norris for his callous behaviour:
"You silly, blinkered, selfish, little man."
(...and those are his good points)
The Street fete summary: four tickets to the Cumberland pencil museum (they took all the pencils and put 'em in a pencil museum? - ed), two curries and one analphylactic shock. Well, it could be worse, I guess. At any rate, it's all grist for the TGIF mill (Tony Gordon, it's Friday), a selection of the week's memorable lines. Allez!
Claire is having trouble squeezing donations from Corrie merchants:
"Tight as a bullfighter’s pants the lot of them "
(but not nearly as sexy)
Norris regrets his choice of night-time reading material:
"I knew it was a mistake taking 'The Grocer' to bed"
(Now THAT'S an interesting story line)
Norris is anxious for his lunchtime treat:
"I've got a tongue sandwich waiting at home"
(hopefully, it will give you a lashing)
Betty misunderstands the Hebrew word for audacity:
"Every good businessman should have a certain 'foot spa' "
(a little chutzpah also helps)
Eileen wants Jesse to restrain his free-range bird:
"You can stop painting your saloon frontage and come home and
capture your parrot"
(after that, you can put the bird back in the cage...)
Simon, dressed as Robin, speaking to Weatherfield's finest:
"Don’t worry, coppers, leave crime fighting to us"
(finally, some law enforcement professionals we can rely on)
Ben likes the idea of a contest to see if Umed's curry is better than Teresa's:
"It can be a curry off "
(if Teresa is involved, you can be sure that at least one curry will be 'off')
Mysterious Madame Hunt tells Kelly's fortune:
"Ah, I see there will be fellas, many fellas especially if you keep
dressing like a tart"
(consider it done)
Kelly confuses Deep Vein Thrombosis with something else:
"I had that when I came home from holiday in Tenerife once"
(the doctor gave her an ointment and a Spanish telephone directory and told her to contact the appropriate parties)
Emily lets loose at Norris for his callous behaviour:
"You silly, blinkered, selfish, little man."
(...and those are his good points)
***
Well, that's it for the week. Enjoy your weekend. Thanks for stopping by and see you next week here at the Hip. Cheers!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
misfortune teller
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 16 episode on CBC
She knows all, sees all, tells all, insults all - for only three quid. All proceeds go to charity*. Roll up, roll up (is that one of those veiled drug references from the 60s? - ed). Let Simon, the Mysterious Assistant & former Robin, show you into Madame Hunt's murky den of commuting spirits - aka Deirdre's sitting room. Silence! Madame Blanche will use her crystal ball (and artificial hip) to divine the future, to know the unknowable to mither the unmitherable. Silence! Madame Hunt speaks:
You will meet a tall, dark stranger... (probably Dev, when you nip round the corner for a pint of milk and a loaf of bread)
You are destined to take a sea voyage... (if you're Ken Barlow and decide to have it off with a tarty actress on a tugboat)
You will meet many men... (if you dress like a tart or Kelly Crabtree - or both)
Your lifeline is very long... (more's the pity given the state of our National Health and meagre pensioner's benefits)
You will go on a long journey... (especially if you have to wait for the Weatherfield bus to get to town, the schedule is atrocious)
You will find great fortune and riches beyond your wildest dreams... (unless you get laid off like Deirdre or wind up collecting supermarket trolleys like Kenneth)
*minus personal expenses and a percentage of the gross - don't breathe word to that busybody Claire Peacock.
She knows all, sees all, tells all, insults all - for only three quid. All proceeds go to charity*. Roll up, roll up (is that one of those veiled drug references from the 60s? - ed). Let Simon, the Mysterious Assistant & former Robin, show you into Madame Hunt's murky den of commuting spirits - aka Deirdre's sitting room. Silence! Madame Blanche will use her crystal ball (and artificial hip) to divine the future, to know the unknowable to mither the unmitherable. Silence! Madame Hunt speaks:
You will meet a tall, dark stranger... (probably Dev, when you nip round the corner for a pint of milk and a loaf of bread)
You are destined to take a sea voyage... (if you're Ken Barlow and decide to have it off with a tarty actress on a tugboat)
You will meet many men... (if you dress like a tart or Kelly Crabtree - or both)
Your lifeline is very long... (more's the pity given the state of our National Health and meagre pensioner's benefits)
You will go on a long journey... (especially if you have to wait for the Weatherfield bus to get to town, the schedule is atrocious)
You will find great fortune and riches beyond your wildest dreams... (unless you get laid off like Deirdre or wind up collecting supermarket trolleys like Kenneth)
*minus personal expenses and a percentage of the gross - don't breathe word to that busybody Claire Peacock.
Friday, June 11, 2010
TGIF June 11
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 10 episode on CBC
So someone beat the stuffing out of David Platt. Who on earth could it be? The list of suspects is diverse and long: Norris, Bethany, Ramsay, Peter Mansbridge, Emily, Amy, the ghost of Charlie Stubbs, Jason, Tony Gordon's bald buddy, Ted, Joe, Sara Louise, Martin, Ken... the possibilities are endless. Oh well, let's just move on to this week's edition of TGIF (Tony Gordon, it's Friday), a (hot) potpourri of the week's memorable lines. Ready, aim. fire!
Liz makes no bones about her dislike for Steve's wife:
"I don’t want my son being used by a dirty, disgusting, drug dealing tramp"
(yeah, why can't you find a nice girl who's serving a sentence for murdering Charlie Stubbs?)
Claire trying to build support for her street fete:
"How do you think the Nottingham carnival started?"
(the sheriff was suffering from postpartum depression?)
The dialogue-challenged Amy asks Liz an awkward question:
"How come your tops are always too small?"
(out of the mouths of babes...)
Steve tells Becky about his ham-handed attempt to bribe Hooch:
"Define stupid"
(...look under 'Steve Mcdonald' in the dictionary)
Ramsay contemplating his last days on the Street:
"I've got to make the most of the local cuisine while I still can"
(take one full English for breakfast, one hotpot for lunch, one kebab for dinner - repeat daily)
Steve describing Slug to a Flying Horse barmaid:
"Small eyes, thin face, bit like a rat"
(Now that you mention it, David Platt was in here...)
Becky is getting sick of Liz's insinuations regarding the drugs found in her purse:
"I could put a few spliffs in the ashtrays, sprinkle a bit of coke on Betty’s hot pot. "
(okay, but I don't recommend snorting the hot pot)
Tina summarizes her relationship with her ex:
"the boy next door turned out to be the hairdresser from hell"
(dye, David, dye!)
Graeme Proctor, garden doctor, explains his new passion:
"I've done fire. It’s time I moved onto earth"
(okay, just try not to make it 'scorched earth')
Liz describes her menopause symptoms to Betty:
"Missing periods, putting weight on, feeling tired"
(maybe you're just a hockey fan?)
So someone beat the stuffing out of David Platt. Who on earth could it be? The list of suspects is diverse and long: Norris, Bethany, Ramsay, Peter Mansbridge, Emily, Amy, the ghost of Charlie Stubbs, Jason, Tony Gordon's bald buddy, Ted, Joe, Sara Louise, Martin, Ken... the possibilities are endless. Oh well, let's just move on to this week's edition of TGIF (Tony Gordon, it's Friday), a (hot) potpourri of the week's memorable lines. Ready, aim. fire!
Liz makes no bones about her dislike for Steve's wife:
"I don’t want my son being used by a dirty, disgusting, drug dealing tramp"
(yeah, why can't you find a nice girl who's serving a sentence for murdering Charlie Stubbs?)
Claire trying to build support for her street fete:
"How do you think the Nottingham carnival started?"
(the sheriff was suffering from postpartum depression?)
The dialogue-challenged Amy asks Liz an awkward question:
"How come your tops are always too small?"
(out of the mouths of babes...)
Steve tells Becky about his ham-handed attempt to bribe Hooch:
"Define stupid"
(...look under 'Steve Mcdonald' in the dictionary)
Ramsay contemplating his last days on the Street:
"I've got to make the most of the local cuisine while I still can"
(take one full English for breakfast, one hotpot for lunch, one kebab for dinner - repeat daily)
Steve describing Slug to a Flying Horse barmaid:
"Small eyes, thin face, bit like a rat"
(Now that you mention it, David Platt was in here...)
Becky is getting sick of Liz's insinuations regarding the drugs found in her purse:
"I could put a few spliffs in the ashtrays, sprinkle a bit of coke on Betty’s hot pot. "
(okay, but I don't recommend snorting the hot pot)
Tina summarizes her relationship with her ex:
"the boy next door turned out to be the hairdresser from hell"
(dye, David, dye!)
Graeme Proctor, garden doctor, explains his new passion:
"I've done fire. It’s time I moved onto earth"
(okay, just try not to make it 'scorched earth')
Liz describes her menopause symptoms to Betty:
"Missing periods, putting weight on, feeling tired"
(maybe you're just a hockey fan?)
***
I believe the CBC coverage of the World Cup will preempt the usual Sunday omnibus shows so please check your local listings if you're a Sunday viewer. Also, it finally occurred to me that it would be a good idea to label all the TGIF posts for your reading convenience and so they are now thusly labelled. Thanks for stopping by this week as Blanche's Polish Hip passes the 200th post mark. It's a always a treat to have you visit and I'll see you next week. Have great weekend and cheers!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Crooked Cops
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 8 episode on CBC
A Corrie friend (you mean the woman at Tim Horton's? - ed) was asking me about DC Hooch and whether ol' Hoochie is the first crooked cop to make an appearance on Coronation Street. I don't know how many crooked cops have shown up on Corrie over the years but I know Hooch isn't the first.
My addled memory tells me that Norman (Curly) Watts was also victimized by a bent copper. I can't remember the exact circumstances but I think his car was being surreptitiously used by a corrupt cop for nefarious activities. Eventually Curly managed to clear his name and, at the same time, met his future wife: Emma (who was a police officer).
Interestingly, Emma herself became a crooked cop when she committed perjury to protect a fellow police officer, Mick Hopwood. Ol Mick himself was also a bit of a crooked cop. He was Janice Battersby's boyfriend and got into a fight with Les Battersby, beating up poor Les and then lying about it. Emma eventually corroborated Mick's story.
I'm sure there were other instances in the history of Corrie (who knows, perhaps Ken got wrongly arrested on the Red rec for singing 'Give peace a chance' in the sixties) but Hooch is definitely not the first - although he may just be the worst.
Oh, and if you happen to see a fella named 'Slug', please call Steve McDonald at 1-800-STREETCARS.
A Corrie friend (you mean the woman at Tim Horton's? - ed) was asking me about DC Hooch and whether ol' Hoochie is the first crooked cop to make an appearance on Coronation Street. I don't know how many crooked cops have shown up on Corrie over the years but I know Hooch isn't the first.
My addled memory tells me that Norman (Curly) Watts was also victimized by a bent copper. I can't remember the exact circumstances but I think his car was being surreptitiously used by a corrupt cop for nefarious activities. Eventually Curly managed to clear his name and, at the same time, met his future wife: Emma (who was a police officer).
Interestingly, Emma herself became a crooked cop when she committed perjury to protect a fellow police officer, Mick Hopwood. Ol Mick himself was also a bit of a crooked cop. He was Janice Battersby's boyfriend and got into a fight with Les Battersby, beating up poor Les and then lying about it. Emma eventually corroborated Mick's story.
I'm sure there were other instances in the history of Corrie (who knows, perhaps Ken got wrongly arrested on the Red rec for singing 'Give peace a chance' in the sixties) but Hooch is definitely not the first - although he may just be the worst.
Oh, and if you happen to see a fella named 'Slug', please call Steve McDonald at 1-800-STREETCARS.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
worst plan ever
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 7 episode on CBC
So here's what we'll do.
First, in order to determine how the drugs got into Becky's purse, we'll conduct exhaustive interviews with anyone who may have seen something or someone suspicious. Who knows? Maybe someone like, say, Betty can help us figure out who was hanging around the pub just before the police raid.
Next, we'll hire the best lawyer we can find and together we'll determine the best course of action for Becky's defense. Perhaps a good legal mind can help us figure out how to build a a credible case against DC Hooch. Let's also hire a good private detective (don't ask Tony Gordon for a reference - ed) to perhaps dig up some dirt on Hooch and track down Slug (he prefers 'Neil' - ed).
Sound good? Nah, here's a better plan: let's just get Steve to stuff two grand into an envelope, eat pizza in a car for four hours, confront Hooch, try to bribe him, make a cock-up of the bribe attempt and then let Hoochie Koochie drive off with the cash. Consider it sorted.
So here's what we'll do.
First, in order to determine how the drugs got into Becky's purse, we'll conduct exhaustive interviews with anyone who may have seen something or someone suspicious. Who knows? Maybe someone like, say, Betty can help us figure out who was hanging around the pub just before the police raid.
Next, we'll hire the best lawyer we can find and together we'll determine the best course of action for Becky's defense. Perhaps a good legal mind can help us figure out how to build a a credible case against DC Hooch. Let's also hire a good private detective (don't ask Tony Gordon for a reference - ed) to perhaps dig up some dirt on Hooch and track down Slug (he prefers 'Neil' - ed).
Sound good? Nah, here's a better plan: let's just get Steve to stuff two grand into an envelope, eat pizza in a car for four hours, confront Hooch, try to bribe him, make a cock-up of the bribe attempt and then let Hoochie Koochie drive off with the cash. Consider it sorted.
Friday, June 4, 2010
TGIF June 4
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 3 episode on CBC
Hooch and Slug? Sounds like a detective show from the 70's: cheesy, tacky and not very good. Let's hope that goodness and decency prevail and Steverino manages to get Becky out of jail. Let's also hope that Slug leaves a..um...'trail' of some sort and can be tracked down so that he can be made to pay for his past sins (you mean his job as a cellphone sales rep? - ed). In the meantime, it's time for TGIF (Tony Gordon, it's Friday), a compendium of some of the memorable lines of the week. Allez!
Audrey is amazed at Graeme's extensive knowledge of old movies:
"It’s like some sort of idiot savant."
(you had me at 'idiot'...)
Blanche complaining to Graeme about the sub-standard pork chops she bought:
"I were fishing bits out of me dentures two days later."
(too much information)
Tina confronts David about dealing painkillers to Joe:
"I know what you did to me Dad. The same thing you did to your mom, your sister, Audrey, Ted, Jason..."
(you better sit down, this list could go on for a while)
Unctuous Tony Gordon telling Maria how useful he can be:
"I can be any number of body parts."
(...but only one readily comes to mind)
Liz returns to Weatherfield and sneaks into Deirdre's house:
"I feel like I’m on the run"
(so would I in that outfit and hat)
Michelle is disgusted to learn that Tony & Maria are a couple:
"Maria, there’s moving on, right, and there’s flipping two fingers at my brother’s grave"
(four fingers if you include Tony's)
Becky wonders why the police have come to the Rovers:
"Hello, are you lot the strippers? "
(No, but maybe they could do a quick belly-dance after they find the drugs)
DC Hooch informs Becky that she will be held in custody:
"You're spending tonight in the cells and it’s not the honeymoon suite"
(yeah, that's reserved for Stape and Fiz...)
Hooch and Slug? Sounds like a detective show from the 70's: cheesy, tacky and not very good. Let's hope that goodness and decency prevail and Steverino manages to get Becky out of jail. Let's also hope that Slug leaves a..um...'trail' of some sort and can be tracked down so that he can be made to pay for his past sins (you mean his job as a cellphone sales rep? - ed). In the meantime, it's time for TGIF (Tony Gordon, it's Friday), a compendium of some of the memorable lines of the week. Allez!
Audrey is amazed at Graeme's extensive knowledge of old movies:
"It’s like some sort of idiot savant."
(you had me at 'idiot'...)
Blanche complaining to Graeme about the sub-standard pork chops she bought:
"I were fishing bits out of me dentures two days later."
(too much information)
Tina confronts David about dealing painkillers to Joe:
"I know what you did to me Dad. The same thing you did to your mom, your sister, Audrey, Ted, Jason..."
(you better sit down, this list could go on for a while)
Unctuous Tony Gordon telling Maria how useful he can be:
"I can be any number of body parts."
(...but only one readily comes to mind)
Liz returns to Weatherfield and sneaks into Deirdre's house:
"I feel like I’m on the run"
(so would I in that outfit and hat)
Michelle is disgusted to learn that Tony & Maria are a couple:
"Maria, there’s moving on, right, and there’s flipping two fingers at my brother’s grave"
(four fingers if you include Tony's)
Becky wonders why the police have come to the Rovers:
"Hello, are you lot the strippers? "
(No, but maybe they could do a quick belly-dance after they find the drugs)
DC Hooch informs Becky that she will be held in custody:
"You're spending tonight in the cells and it’s not the honeymoon suite"
(yeah, that's reserved for Stape and Fiz...)
***
Thanks for stopping by this week and thanks especially for your kind comments. As one reader pointed out, Rosie often provides lots of fodder for TGIF - too much, in fact, and I usually have to be selective about which quotes to include. Not a problem this week as Steve and Becky's wedding as well as the Tony/Maria story have been the main events. See you next week and have a great weekend.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
we've written our own vows
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 2 episode on CBC
Yes, we all shed a tear yesterday when the fair Becky (that was Becky under the headgear, right? - ed) got married to Steve, but the ceremony itself was a little impersonal. I'm wondering what it would have been like if the bride and groom had written their own special vows for the occasion. I think it might have gone something like this...
Registrar: At this time, I'd like to call upon Steven and Rebeca to recite the vows that each has written for this special occasion. Rebeca?
Becky: Right well, I'm not an expert or anything but here goes. Steve, you are my kind of guy and we had a right fabbo time, during our funnymoon. Remember loverboy? Okay, so last time we did this, I was so legless I didn't make it here but I'm sober now, well almost. So that proves I'm your gal and I'm serious about this marriage thing. I'm a winner. babe. I love Royston and Hales but mostly you, loverman. And, (provided this registrar - whatever that is - is for real and not some wacko from a looney bin), I'll say this:
I'll marry you now
though I can be a right stroppy cow
I'll take that wedding vow
Wow.
Registrar: er thank you Rebeca. Steven?
Steve: What? Oh, yeah, right. Well, I haven't had much time and, well, you know what I'm like with words and pens. Anyhow, I jotted something down while I was on the switch yesterday at Streetcars. It's a bit like one of them um... what'ya call it... poems. So here goes:
Becky, I love the bones off ya.
And I know you love me too.
If you say "Michelle"
I will say: "Michelle who?"
You're a right fit bird.
Or so I have heard
Yeah, I know that Slug's been hanging around.
But he just wants to drag you down
So let's get spliced
Cause I think it will be nice
Registrar: Um thank you. You may now kiss the bride.
Yes, we all shed a tear yesterday when the fair Becky (that was Becky under the headgear, right? - ed) got married to Steve, but the ceremony itself was a little impersonal. I'm wondering what it would have been like if the bride and groom had written their own special vows for the occasion. I think it might have gone something like this...
Registrar: At this time, I'd like to call upon Steven and Rebeca to recite the vows that each has written for this special occasion. Rebeca?
Becky: Right well, I'm not an expert or anything but here goes. Steve, you are my kind of guy and we had a right fabbo time, during our funnymoon. Remember loverboy? Okay, so last time we did this, I was so legless I didn't make it here but I'm sober now, well almost. So that proves I'm your gal and I'm serious about this marriage thing. I'm a winner. babe. I love Royston and Hales but mostly you, loverman. And, (provided this registrar - whatever that is - is for real and not some wacko from a looney bin), I'll say this:
I'll marry you now
though I can be a right stroppy cow
I'll take that wedding vow
Wow.
Registrar: er thank you Rebeca. Steven?
Steve: What? Oh, yeah, right. Well, I haven't had much time and, well, you know what I'm like with words and pens. Anyhow, I jotted something down while I was on the switch yesterday at Streetcars. It's a bit like one of them um... what'ya call it... poems. So here goes:
Becky, I love the bones off ya.
And I know you love me too.
If you say "Michelle"
I will say: "Michelle who?"
You're a right fit bird.
Or so I have heard
Yeah, I know that Slug's been hanging around.
But he just wants to drag you down
So let's get spliced
Cause I think it will be nice
Registrar: Um thank you. You may now kiss the bride.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
the horror
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 1 episode on CBC
My delicate sensibilities are being pummeled by some of what's happening on the Street. I don't know where to start. Let's count it down from the least horrific to the most horrific items which have been bombarding my senses lately:
Number 4: Claire trying to convince Ashley to have sex (no, please stop, I've heard enough - ed). Claire thinks that Ashley had a vasectomy and so is ready for a round of 'safe sex'. Little does she know that Ash did a 'cut and run' (minus the cut - ed) and backed out of the operation and is still a... um... 'force' to be reckoned with. Frankly the sight of Claire making goo goo eyes is enough to make me swear off sex for ever (superfluous in your case - ed)
Number 3: Hayley and Anna singing 'Matrimony' at Becky's hen party. Yikes! I haven't been this horrified since my brother-in-law did an ABBA medley in drag.
Number 2: Liz McDonald's 'coming home' ensemble. Somewhere there's a 'Cirque du Soleil' act missing an outfit (and they're probably glad - ed). Don't get me wrong. I love Liz but, holy moly, I haven't seen anything that outrageous since her wedding to Vernon.
Number 1: Without a doubt the most horrific sight is Tony Gordon and Maria Sutherland canoodling like two lovesick birds - or, to put it more accurately, two sicko lovebirds. It's starting to make me nauseous. I have to look away every time they start pawing each other. Speaking of pawing, poor Ozzy! He has to watch all this. It's enough to put someone off their kibble.
My delicate sensibilities are being pummeled by some of what's happening on the Street. I don't know where to start. Let's count it down from the least horrific to the most horrific items which have been bombarding my senses lately:
Number 4: Claire trying to convince Ashley to have sex (no, please stop, I've heard enough - ed). Claire thinks that Ashley had a vasectomy and so is ready for a round of 'safe sex'. Little does she know that Ash did a 'cut and run' (minus the cut - ed) and backed out of the operation and is still a... um... 'force' to be reckoned with. Frankly the sight of Claire making goo goo eyes is enough to make me swear off sex for ever (superfluous in your case - ed)
Number 3: Hayley and Anna singing 'Matrimony' at Becky's hen party. Yikes! I haven't been this horrified since my brother-in-law did an ABBA medley in drag.
Number 2: Liz McDonald's 'coming home' ensemble. Somewhere there's a 'Cirque du Soleil' act missing an outfit (and they're probably glad - ed). Don't get me wrong. I love Liz but, holy moly, I haven't seen anything that outrageous since her wedding to Vernon.
Number 1: Without a doubt the most horrific sight is Tony Gordon and Maria Sutherland canoodling like two lovesick birds - or, to put it more accurately, two sicko lovebirds. It's starting to make me nauseous. I have to look away every time they start pawing each other. Speaking of pawing, poor Ozzy! He has to watch all this. It's enough to put someone off their kibble.
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