please note that this post make reference to the August 22 episode on CBC
I'm certainly not opposed to rediscovering an old flame or rekindling an old romance (you sound like an arsonist or Graeme Proctor or both -ed). I only mention this because old romances seem to be everywhere on Coronation Street.
There's Steve and Michelle. Well, technically just Steve so far but they do seem to be spending a lot of quality time together, mostly due to the new and unimproved Ryan (drugs, skiving, lying... what's not to like? - ed). Steve is definitely interested but Michelle doesn't seem to be reading the signals yet (particularly Steve's pink shirt signal; he looks like a Chippendale's taxi driver having a bad hair day - ed). Still, it looks like something may be in the cards.
Then there's Jason and Maria. Our receptionist, Abby Downton, tells me that Jason and Maria were an item many years ago but then Jason had it off with a co-hairdresser (Candace). Funny, I don't remember any of that (must be the drugs... or the Hob Nobs - ed). Anyhoo, now the cute twosome have a budding romance thanks to the matchmaking skill of Marcus.
Last - and most definitely least - there's old Kevin still trying to get his feet under the table at Sal's. Yes, he's got a sprog and yes the sprog is his lovechild from a sordid affair with his best mate (don't make such a palaver out of it - ed), but Kev still thinks that Sally can "get past all that". The scary thing is, he may be right.
Showing posts with label Sally. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sally. Show all posts
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
The fall and rise... and fall... of Sally Webster
please note this post makes reference to the July 2 episode on CBC
what you need to know... Betty's send-off continues with much reminiscing and toasting in the Rovers, Sean is bequeathed the sacred hot pot recipe and he's nervous, Tommy is in partnership with Terry and finds himself up against a Street-wide protest against Terry's proposed strip club, Peter adds Ken to the list of people banned from seeing Simon, Sally loses her big chance to become a part owner of Underworld, Audrey has a health crisis due, in part perhaps, to the ongoing aggro about the salon.
Judy at the Tim Horton's can't get enough of Sally Webster. While serving a batch of iced cappuccinos, she told me that everyone knows their own Sally Webster, someone who constantly strives to succeed partly by acting superior to others -- only to inevitably face their come-uppence.
That, in a nutshell, is the story of Sally's life. Sally has thrown her energy into being better than other people and each time she is undone by her own hubris. There are many examples - like when she insisted that Rosie attend a posh private school to receive the best education (look how that turned out. Rosie's now a dramality star - ed). There's also her affairs with fellas like Ian Davenport (the oily car dealer), Kevin's widely-publicized affair with Molly and subsequent love-child™ and, most recently, her ill-fated liaison with Frank Foster which, given the nasty things which Frank said, was surely the nec plus ultra of humiliation.
But wait, there's more.
Sally decided she was going to buy Frank's shares in Underworld and become a partner with Carla. Last week, she was swanning around the factory, sharing 'great' ideas with Carla and generally acting the "Big I am" You just knew she was headed for yet another fall -- and she was. Frank's shares were left to Carla. Sally's dream of being a boss is gone amid snickers on the factory floor. We really don't wish her any ill will, but could she just, once in a while, stop looking down her nose at everyone.
what you need to know... Betty's send-off continues with much reminiscing and toasting in the Rovers, Sean is bequeathed the sacred hot pot recipe and he's nervous, Tommy is in partnership with Terry and finds himself up against a Street-wide protest against Terry's proposed strip club, Peter adds Ken to the list of people banned from seeing Simon, Sally loses her big chance to become a part owner of Underworld, Audrey has a health crisis due, in part perhaps, to the ongoing aggro about the salon.
Judy at the Tim Horton's can't get enough of Sally Webster. While serving a batch of iced cappuccinos, she told me that everyone knows their own Sally Webster, someone who constantly strives to succeed partly by acting superior to others -- only to inevitably face their come-uppence.
That, in a nutshell, is the story of Sally's life. Sally has thrown her energy into being better than other people and each time she is undone by her own hubris. There are many examples - like when she insisted that Rosie attend a posh private school to receive the best education (look how that turned out. Rosie's now a dramality star - ed). There's also her affairs with fellas like Ian Davenport (the oily car dealer), Kevin's widely-publicized affair with Molly and subsequent love-child™ and, most recently, her ill-fated liaison with Frank Foster which, given the nasty things which Frank said, was surely the nec plus ultra of humiliation.
But wait, there's more.
Sally decided she was going to buy Frank's shares in Underworld and become a partner with Carla. Last week, she was swanning around the factory, sharing 'great' ideas with Carla and generally acting the "Big I am" You just knew she was headed for yet another fall -- and she was. Frank's shares were left to Carla. Sally's dream of being a boss is gone amid snickers on the factory floor. We really don't wish her any ill will, but could she just, once in a while, stop looking down her nose at everyone.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Webster House Rules
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the Sept 28 episode on CBC
I must say it's a little um... how you say.. awkward to have Kevin moping around the Webster house mithering over Baby Jack while Sally shoots hate darts into his back. Doesn't Kevin get it? I mean, when you cheat on your wife while she's got cancer, sleep with your best mate's wife and then carry around your illicit love child, you're not supposed to be living in the family home.
Tradition clearly states that 'he who plays away does not get to stay' The marriage is over. Sally doesn't want anything more to do with Kevin but he doesn't get it. Like an unwelcome guest or a bad smell, he keeps hanging around. I feel sorry for Sally but since Kev is too thick to understand that he should be slinging his hook in shame, she has no choice but to come up with some house rules to deal with the unpleasant situation. Here are a couple of suggestions:
1. Kevin must stay in the conservatory during meal times, prime time TV shows and Rosie's birthday.
If he must leave the conservatory (aka porch or shed), then he should send a text to Sally requesting permission to enter the living room. If Sally should need the conservatory for any reason (i.e. getting legless because she's married to Kev), then Kevin will go directly to the garage and stay in the back seat of a Ford Fiesta until further notice.
2. Under no circumstances is Kevin allowed into the marriage bed -- except on weekends and special occasions.
He can sleep on the sofa until he gets himself sorted or throws his back out - whichever comes first. Of course, if he hangs around the bed long enough with that pathetic look on his face, maybe Sophie will convince her mom to let him back in but only for light cuddling, nothing else!
3. No talking to Kevin. He must be ignored.
If he's allowed to wander around the house with a cute baby, Sophie and Sian will feel sorry for Kevin and he will try to get them to look after his illegitimate love child while he goes for a pint, fixes cars or buys nappies. It's the thin edge of the Huggie. For this reason, no-one is allowed to speak to Kevin except in cases of crashing trams, fires and yummy desserts.
I must say it's a little um... how you say.. awkward to have Kevin moping around the Webster house mithering over Baby Jack while Sally shoots hate darts into his back. Doesn't Kevin get it? I mean, when you cheat on your wife while she's got cancer, sleep with your best mate's wife and then carry around your illicit love child, you're not supposed to be living in the family home.
Tradition clearly states that 'he who plays away does not get to stay' The marriage is over. Sally doesn't want anything more to do with Kevin but he doesn't get it. Like an unwelcome guest or a bad smell, he keeps hanging around. I feel sorry for Sally but since Kev is too thick to understand that he should be slinging his hook in shame, she has no choice but to come up with some house rules to deal with the unpleasant situation. Here are a couple of suggestions:
1. Kevin must stay in the conservatory during meal times, prime time TV shows and Rosie's birthday.
If he must leave the conservatory (aka porch or shed), then he should send a text to Sally requesting permission to enter the living room. If Sally should need the conservatory for any reason (i.e. getting legless because she's married to Kev), then Kevin will go directly to the garage and stay in the back seat of a Ford Fiesta until further notice.
2. Under no circumstances is Kevin allowed into the marriage bed -- except on weekends and special occasions.
He can sleep on the sofa until he gets himself sorted or throws his back out - whichever comes first. Of course, if he hangs around the bed long enough with that pathetic look on his face, maybe Sophie will convince her mom to let him back in but only for light cuddling, nothing else!
3. No talking to Kevin. He must be ignored.
If he's allowed to wander around the house with a cute baby, Sophie and Sian will feel sorry for Kevin and he will try to get them to look after his illegitimate love child while he goes for a pint, fixes cars or buys nappies. It's the thin edge of the Huggie. For this reason, no-one is allowed to speak to Kevin except in cases of crashing trams, fires and yummy desserts.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Kevin & Sally's infidelity scorecard
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the Sept 20 episode on CBC
Is it all over between Sally and Kevin? I'll admit, it looks bad. It's not just the fact that Kev played away. But he only stopped playing away when Sally was diagnosed with cancer. And he was playing away with his best friend's wife. And he has a baby as a result of his playing away (actually it does look pretty bad - ed).
But let's not be hasty. As you probably know, neither Kev nor Sally are saints. Neither is above doing the horizontal mambo while being married. Let's take a quick look at the infidelity scorecard:
Is it all over between Sally and Kevin? I'll admit, it looks bad. It's not just the fact that Kev played away. But he only stopped playing away when Sally was diagnosed with cancer. And he was playing away with his best friend's wife. And he has a baby as a result of his playing away (actually it does look pretty bad - ed).
But let's not be hasty. As you probably know, neither Kev nor Sally are saints. Neither is above doing the horizontal mambo while being married. Let's take a quick look at the infidelity scorecard:
Playing Away (extra-marital affairs)
Kevin: 2 (Nathalie the garage owner; Molly, wife of Tyrone)
Sally: 2 (Greg, the Underworld exec; Ian, the car dealership guy)
Playing Fair (affairs while divorced or separated)
Kevin: 2 (Molly (no, not that Molly. I think this one was a nurse); Alison (bit of a headcase)
Sally: 3 (Chris, the garage mechanic; Martin (yes that Martin while camping I think); Danny, the barrow guy from the market)
Seems like they're pretty well matched in some ways...
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Sally Webster is derailed
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 20 episode on CBC
Well, well. It's all aboard that classic steam engine, the Lancashire Hot Pot (or something like that), for a sentimental train journey that really is the best wedding surprise one could ever give to Roy and Hailey apart from his and hers Thomas the Tank engine bathrobes.
Of course, there are more than a few clouds on the horizon (the return trip is on VIA? -ed ). Mary is clearly not a well woman or at least harbours some deep seated hostility (FYI, we call those 'issues' or 'demons' like Norris' fear of cotton wool - ed). Whatever her issue, Mary is definitely not asleep at the switch and that's a bit of a problem for the railroading couple.
But the other fly in the ointment is Sally Webster and her irrepressibly annoying personality. To me this is one of the most endearing qualities of Corrie. Not the fact that Sally has been through a major health scare, gone through a tumultuous and stressful period of cancer treatment and returned to her life with a full appreciation of her family, her life and her friends. No that's completely understandable. What's brilliant is that before you can say "Our daughter went to Oakhill", she's back to her old nasty self! She hasn't learned a thing! She's back to making snarky remarks, putting on airs and graces and making herself feel important by belittling other people. This time it's Claire Peacock's turn to face the wrath of Sal. After all, Claire suffered from post partum depression and can't be trusted to look after children, can she?
But, as in most cases, Sally lives to regret her small-minded actions. As for Sophie, well I guess she's got some 'splaining to do before the train pulls into the station. All aboard!
Well, well. It's all aboard that classic steam engine, the Lancashire Hot Pot (or something like that), for a sentimental train journey that really is the best wedding surprise one could ever give to Roy and Hailey apart from his and hers Thomas the Tank engine bathrobes.
Of course, there are more than a few clouds on the horizon (the return trip is on VIA? -ed ). Mary is clearly not a well woman or at least harbours some deep seated hostility (FYI, we call those 'issues' or 'demons' like Norris' fear of cotton wool - ed). Whatever her issue, Mary is definitely not asleep at the switch and that's a bit of a problem for the railroading couple.
But the other fly in the ointment is Sally Webster and her irrepressibly annoying personality. To me this is one of the most endearing qualities of Corrie. Not the fact that Sally has been through a major health scare, gone through a tumultuous and stressful period of cancer treatment and returned to her life with a full appreciation of her family, her life and her friends. No that's completely understandable. What's brilliant is that before you can say "Our daughter went to Oakhill", she's back to her old nasty self! She hasn't learned a thing! She's back to making snarky remarks, putting on airs and graces and making herself feel important by belittling other people. This time it's Claire Peacock's turn to face the wrath of Sal. After all, Claire suffered from post partum depression and can't be trusted to look after children, can she?
But, as in most cases, Sally lives to regret her small-minded actions. As for Sophie, well I guess she's got some 'splaining to do before the train pulls into the station. All aboard!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
The bus stop bust top of Rosie Webster
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the Nov 1 episode on CBC
I'm sure this line will be repeated in TGIF on Friday but it's impossible to resist. Take it away Rosie: "These breasts and this brain is my passport out of this dump" (well, two out of three isn't bad - ed).
Just when you think things can't get any worse for the Websters, Rosie finds new ways to humiliate herself and her family. This time, she's become a pin-up girl on bus stops all over Manchester, proudly displaying her 'bounty' with a great big pair of hands 'photo-shopped' over her 'assets'.. you get the idea.
Why, Rosie, why?
Apparently she thought she was doing a photo shoot for a high end perfume (Channel 5 by Alvin Klein? - ed). Seems there was a slight misunderstanding, Turns out the photos are being used in ads to promote a cleaning product for drains (you know, the same place where all that private school education money went - ed). And, instead of a timeless, sexy slogan like: "Between love and madness lies Obsession" (for Calvin Kelin's 'Obsession'), Rosie's ad says: "Sump, an extra pair of hands around the house." Could be worse, I suppose. Could be: "Premium Plungers: busting through your clogged drain" or "Weatherfield Septic Tanks: put your arms around our waste" or... (that's enough - ed).
Well, this is bad. Kev's gone off his head. Sally, trying to deal with her own health issues, is distraught. But wait, maybe it's not so bad. Perhaps Rosie could work her way up to a better class of product placement, like I dunno, household cleansers or Shamwows. But before you can say 'damage control', she drops a bombshell. She wants to have a boob job! (hey, at least she wants a job - ed).
Kev's livid. Sally's crying. I'm speechless.
I'm sure this line will be repeated in TGIF on Friday but it's impossible to resist. Take it away Rosie: "These breasts and this brain is my passport out of this dump" (well, two out of three isn't bad - ed).
Just when you think things can't get any worse for the Websters, Rosie finds new ways to humiliate herself and her family. This time, she's become a pin-up girl on bus stops all over Manchester, proudly displaying her 'bounty' with a great big pair of hands 'photo-shopped' over her 'assets'.. you get the idea.
Why, Rosie, why?
Apparently she thought she was doing a photo shoot for a high end perfume (Channel 5 by Alvin Klein? - ed). Seems there was a slight misunderstanding, Turns out the photos are being used in ads to promote a cleaning product for drains (you know, the same place where all that private school education money went - ed). And, instead of a timeless, sexy slogan like: "Between love and madness lies Obsession" (for Calvin Kelin's 'Obsession'), Rosie's ad says: "Sump, an extra pair of hands around the house." Could be worse, I suppose. Could be: "Premium Plungers: busting through your clogged drain" or "Weatherfield Septic Tanks: put your arms around our waste" or... (that's enough - ed).
Well, this is bad. Kev's gone off his head. Sally, trying to deal with her own health issues, is distraught. But wait, maybe it's not so bad. Perhaps Rosie could work her way up to a better class of product placement, like I dunno, household cleansers or Shamwows. But before you can say 'damage control', she drops a bombshell. She wants to have a boob job! (hey, at least she wants a job - ed).
Kev's livid. Sally's crying. I'm speechless.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Sally Webster & family
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the October 19 episode on CBC
I've often thought that the hidden genius of Coronation Street was making unsympathetic characters sometimes seem sympathetic and vice versa. Sally Webster is a case in point. It wasn't long ago that she was shouting the odds at John Stape, trying to run him out of the neighbourhood and making Fiz's life miserable. Now, in the face of her fight with Cancer, she seems resolute, strong and wholly sympathetic.
Suddenly, it's the rest of the Webster clan who are under the spotlight. Kevin, the cheating husband, has had second thoughts about his dalliance with Molly -- and it now becomes clear that he has treated both Sally and Molly in a most shabby way. Even Bill Webster, no stranger himself to adulterous legovers, is appalled when he finds out. Will Kevin rise to the occasion now that his wife is fighting cancer? I don't know. I get the sinking feeling that he might somehow fall back into his cheating ways - changing him from a long suffering spouse and good guy into a totally unsympathetic louse.
And what about Sophie and Rosie? Just how will they react to news of their mom's illness? I'm not sure that Sophie's religious zeal will be of comfort to Sally (she's not that religious). Rosie, on the other hand, may be the surprise here. Perhaps, she will, for once, rise to the occasion and stop thinking about herself for a while. Perhaps she will be a hidden source of strength for her. I know, I know, it sounds like a stretch but, as I say, sometimes the most unsympathetic characters on the Street can surprise you.
In case you're interested, there's an interesting clip of the actor who plays Sally being interviewed on UK TV and you can find it on corrie canuck (one of Canada's stellar Corrie blogs). Cheers.
I've often thought that the hidden genius of Coronation Street was making unsympathetic characters sometimes seem sympathetic and vice versa. Sally Webster is a case in point. It wasn't long ago that she was shouting the odds at John Stape, trying to run him out of the neighbourhood and making Fiz's life miserable. Now, in the face of her fight with Cancer, she seems resolute, strong and wholly sympathetic.
Suddenly, it's the rest of the Webster clan who are under the spotlight. Kevin, the cheating husband, has had second thoughts about his dalliance with Molly -- and it now becomes clear that he has treated both Sally and Molly in a most shabby way. Even Bill Webster, no stranger himself to adulterous legovers, is appalled when he finds out. Will Kevin rise to the occasion now that his wife is fighting cancer? I don't know. I get the sinking feeling that he might somehow fall back into his cheating ways - changing him from a long suffering spouse and good guy into a totally unsympathetic louse.
And what about Sophie and Rosie? Just how will they react to news of their mom's illness? I'm not sure that Sophie's religious zeal will be of comfort to Sally (she's not that religious). Rosie, on the other hand, may be the surprise here. Perhaps, she will, for once, rise to the occasion and stop thinking about herself for a while. Perhaps she will be a hidden source of strength for her. I know, I know, it sounds like a stretch but, as I say, sometimes the most unsympathetic characters on the Street can surprise you.
***
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Selective Sally
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the July 21 episode on CBC
I'm awfully glad that Sally Webster had a wonderful time in Lanzerote (although, frankly, a Panzerotti would have been cheaper and just as exotic). Goodness knows she can use some 'alone time' with Kev and I'm sure Kev enjoyed feigning sleep/inebriation/sea-sickness/amnesia etc in order to avoid.. er.. undue horizontal contact since he only has eyes for Molly.
But I digress. So Sally returns from the fabbo vacation only to discover (thanks Kelly) that Fiz has gone and married John Stape. Doh! This is obviously a level one alert. Her royal shrillness is royally pissed. Why didn't anyone tell her? And why isn't Kevin doing something? (instead of doing someone - ed). Yes, Mrs Webster is consumed by this horrible news, but hey, what about all the other stuff that went on while she was away sipping Sangria on the poop deck?
Let's review. While you were away, ol' Sal, Rosie moved in with Luke. Luke binned Rosie in the Rovers. Rosie gatecrashed a party and grabbed Michelle by the hair. Rosie was headlocked and thrown in the gutter by Michelle. Rosie tried to set a sex trap for Luke. Rosie was fired from Underworld. Rosie threatened to go to the Tribunal if Luke fired her. Rosie was not fired. Rosie tried to fire Fiz. Thanks for asking, Sal.
The point is Sally seems very selective when it comes to finding out what actually happened while she was away. Maybe she should start by talking to her daughters instead of busting down Fiz's front door every 40 minutes and shouting the odds.
I'm awfully glad that Sally Webster had a wonderful time in Lanzerote (although, frankly, a Panzerotti would have been cheaper and just as exotic). Goodness knows she can use some 'alone time' with Kev and I'm sure Kev enjoyed feigning sleep/inebriation/sea-sickness/amnesia etc in order to avoid.. er.. undue horizontal contact since he only has eyes for Molly.
But I digress. So Sally returns from the fabbo vacation only to discover (thanks Kelly) that Fiz has gone and married John Stape. Doh! This is obviously a level one alert. Her royal shrillness is royally pissed. Why didn't anyone tell her? And why isn't Kevin doing something? (instead of doing someone - ed). Yes, Mrs Webster is consumed by this horrible news, but hey, what about all the other stuff that went on while she was away sipping Sangria on the poop deck?
Let's review. While you were away, ol' Sal, Rosie moved in with Luke. Luke binned Rosie in the Rovers. Rosie gatecrashed a party and grabbed Michelle by the hair. Rosie was headlocked and thrown in the gutter by Michelle. Rosie tried to set a sex trap for Luke. Rosie was fired from Underworld. Rosie threatened to go to the Tribunal if Luke fired her. Rosie was not fired. Rosie tried to fire Fiz. Thanks for asking, Sal.
The point is Sally seems very selective when it comes to finding out what actually happened while she was away. Maybe she should start by talking to her daughters instead of busting down Fiz's front door every 40 minutes and shouting the odds.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
3 troubling thoughts
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the September 30 episode on CBC
Three troubling thoughts crossed my mind while watching last night's episode (Ma, Pa & Jr. Windass? - ed).
1. The conflict between Maria and Tony is becoming eerily reminiscent of the Richard Hillman saga. I remember at one point saying that the big difference between Richard Hillman and Tony Gordon was that Richard Hillman was a kind of 'do it yourself' psychopath while Tone was more of a 'contract-it-out' kind of guy, who didn't like getting his hands dirty. But that could be changing and that would mark a new phase in his criminal activity, similar to Dickie Hillman's MO. And there are more echoes of Hillman which make my skin crawl. Richard Hillman terrorized a young woman (Maxine Peacock) in a house on C Street. Richard also tried to convince people that Audrey (who was acting a lot like Maria at the time) was going round the bend - as part of a plan to solve his financial woes.
2. At first, I thought that Steve Mcdonald's 'Operation Bad Boyfriend' was just a half-baked scheme with a low chance for success (That's our Steve - ed). But now we realize that any breakup, no matter how it happens, has consequences -- particularly when kids are involved. We weren't really exposed to that side of things until we saw the preparations (or lack thereof) for Amy's birthday party. Becky too is getting a new perspective of her fairytale legover with Steve - and it's not particularly pretty.
3. Last, and definitely least, I'm getting the distinct impression that Sally Webster would have it off with Tony Gordon in a highland heartbeat, if he gave the slightest hint of interest. She was in his office kissing up big time after Tone found out that Maria had been shown the tongue-2-tongue video. Then ol' Sal comes back into the office to give TG even more info on the fact that Maria is... how you say... one veg short of a hotpot. Then she tell the girls at Underworld that he's really a nice guy. Please tell me I'm wrong...
Three troubling thoughts crossed my mind while watching last night's episode (Ma, Pa & Jr. Windass? - ed).
1. The conflict between Maria and Tony is becoming eerily reminiscent of the Richard Hillman saga. I remember at one point saying that the big difference between Richard Hillman and Tony Gordon was that Richard Hillman was a kind of 'do it yourself' psychopath while Tone was more of a 'contract-it-out' kind of guy, who didn't like getting his hands dirty. But that could be changing and that would mark a new phase in his criminal activity, similar to Dickie Hillman's MO. And there are more echoes of Hillman which make my skin crawl. Richard Hillman terrorized a young woman (Maxine Peacock) in a house on C Street. Richard also tried to convince people that Audrey (who was acting a lot like Maria at the time) was going round the bend - as part of a plan to solve his financial woes.
2. At first, I thought that Steve Mcdonald's 'Operation Bad Boyfriend' was just a half-baked scheme with a low chance for success (That's our Steve - ed). But now we realize that any breakup, no matter how it happens, has consequences -- particularly when kids are involved. We weren't really exposed to that side of things until we saw the preparations (or lack thereof) for Amy's birthday party. Becky too is getting a new perspective of her fairytale legover with Steve - and it's not particularly pretty.
3. Last, and definitely least, I'm getting the distinct impression that Sally Webster would have it off with Tony Gordon in a highland heartbeat, if he gave the slightest hint of interest. She was in his office kissing up big time after Tone found out that Maria had been shown the tongue-2-tongue video. Then ol' Sal comes back into the office to give TG even more info on the fact that Maria is... how you say... one veg short of a hotpot. Then she tell the girls at Underworld that he's really a nice guy. Please tell me I'm wrong...
Friday, August 28, 2009
best one-liners
no spoilers were used in the making of this post
Ahoy Corrie nation. It's the proverbial calm after the storm on the street. The wailing, weeping and gnashing of teeth following Liam's death has subsided, Carla is in LA, Tony is acting chummy, Stape has been apprehended and Rosie is back at home. All's quiet on the Northern front -- for now. The most recent episodes have been 'repositioning' episodes (to borrow a term from the cruise industry), setting up future storylines, re-introducing characters (Graham, Simon and maybe Haley in the near future) and tying up loose ends. So, it's probably a good time to present a recap of some of the best one-liners on recent shows. Here's my pick of the week:
"He's about as cut out for fatherhood as I am for rugby league" -- Blanche (about Peter Barlow's parenting prowess)
"The guilt trip express is due to leave in 5...4...3..." -- Peter Barlow (about his dad, Ken)
"The word 'dysfunctional' was created for our family" -- Peter (about the Barlow clan).
"I've seen the way they look at you, those young girls" -- Julie (about her Kirk).
"It's at times like this, I wish I'd got me fondue set" -- Julie (trying to comfort a distraught Fiz)
"I didn't see that" -- Giles, Tony's accountant, (upon receiving a cheque with Carla's forged signature from Tony)
"I always knew there was something weird about John Stape. Eyes like a dead fish." -- Vickie (describing Fiz's ex)
"Nice to know he can be a decent human being when he wants to be" - Sally (about Tony Gordon after the Tonemeister shows up to 'check up on Rosie' with flowers and a soothing brogue)
"It's not easy when you've got someone locked in your Gran's attic" -- John Stape explaining the hardships associated with being a kidnapper)
Ahoy Corrie nation. It's the proverbial calm after the storm on the street. The wailing, weeping and gnashing of teeth following Liam's death has subsided, Carla is in LA, Tony is acting chummy, Stape has been apprehended and Rosie is back at home. All's quiet on the Northern front -- for now. The most recent episodes have been 'repositioning' episodes (to borrow a term from the cruise industry), setting up future storylines, re-introducing characters (Graham, Simon and maybe Haley in the near future) and tying up loose ends. So, it's probably a good time to present a recap of some of the best one-liners on recent shows. Here's my pick of the week:
"He's about as cut out for fatherhood as I am for rugby league" -- Blanche (about Peter Barlow's parenting prowess)
"The guilt trip express is due to leave in 5...4...3..." -- Peter Barlow (about his dad, Ken)
"The word 'dysfunctional' was created for our family" -- Peter (about the Barlow clan).
"I've seen the way they look at you, those young girls" -- Julie (about her Kirk).
"It's at times like this, I wish I'd got me fondue set" -- Julie (trying to comfort a distraught Fiz)
"I didn't see that" -- Giles, Tony's accountant, (upon receiving a cheque with Carla's forged signature from Tony)
"I always knew there was something weird about John Stape. Eyes like a dead fish." -- Vickie (describing Fiz's ex)
"Nice to know he can be a decent human being when he wants to be" - Sally (about Tony Gordon after the Tonemeister shows up to 'check up on Rosie' with flowers and a soothing brogue)
"It's not easy when you've got someone locked in your Gran's attic" -- John Stape explaining the hardships associated with being a kidnapper)
***
Shots from the hip... that's it for the week. Enjoy the Sunday omnibus edition and thanks for stopping by. One last public service announcement: As of Monday, August 31, Corrie moves to 6.30pm on weekdays. Please check your local listings for the correct broadcast time in your region.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
the webster web
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the July 20 episode on CBC
Rosie Webster's disappearance is making waves up and down Coronation Street and the best part is how the story interconnects with so many characters in different ways. In fact, almost everyone seems to getting involved in one way or another.
Kevin and Sally are astounded to read Rosie's bank statement (must be the exorbitant service fees - ed) and the police are hot on the trail of the £25,000.
Sophie is royally teed off because her paernts are obsessed with Rosie. Rita gets into the act telling Sophie, "I always thought you had a bit more about you."
The factory crew are livid because they believe Rosie has ripped them off and absconded off with their lottery winnings - after all they've done for her. "How does the Weatherfield Barbie repay me?" says Sean.
The investigation into the $25,000 is making Janice increasingly antsy and she is now getting cold feet about the whole plan with Leanne.
Leanne is in a spot of bother because she committed to give/lend her share of the money to Dan to buy the bookies.
Meanwhile, far from the Street, in an undisclosed luxury spa, Tony is making Richard Hillman look like Mr. Dressup as he unveils a creepy plan for the weekend (full body massage with a loofa brush and a Brazilian wax? - ed). He regales Carla, Liam and Maria with a humourous story about how a female employee betrayed him by having an extramarital affair with a competitor - so he had the competitor beaten senseless, broke up the guy's marriage, bought his company for a song and fired the female employee. (Funny story but I guess you had to be there).
That's just the start. Then it's time for "a chat between two guys" says Tony. Hmm. Let's see: Liam and Tony, mano-a- mcmano, off for a brisk walk to a place where there is a very large sign which reads 'DANGER'. What could possibly go wrong?
Rosie Webster's disappearance is making waves up and down Coronation Street and the best part is how the story interconnects with so many characters in different ways. In fact, almost everyone seems to getting involved in one way or another.
Kevin and Sally are astounded to read Rosie's bank statement (must be the exorbitant service fees - ed) and the police are hot on the trail of the £25,000.
Sophie is royally teed off because her paernts are obsessed with Rosie. Rita gets into the act telling Sophie, "I always thought you had a bit more about you."
The factory crew are livid because they believe Rosie has ripped them off and absconded off with their lottery winnings - after all they've done for her. "How does the Weatherfield Barbie repay me?" says Sean.
The investigation into the $25,000 is making Janice increasingly antsy and she is now getting cold feet about the whole plan with Leanne.
Leanne is in a spot of bother because she committed to give/lend her share of the money to Dan to buy the bookies.
Meanwhile, far from the Street, in an undisclosed luxury spa, Tony is making Richard Hillman look like Mr. Dressup as he unveils a creepy plan for the weekend (full body massage with a loofa brush and a Brazilian wax? - ed). He regales Carla, Liam and Maria with a humourous story about how a female employee betrayed him by having an extramarital affair with a competitor - so he had the competitor beaten senseless, broke up the guy's marriage, bought his company for a song and fired the female employee. (Funny story but I guess you had to be there).
That's just the start. Then it's time for "a chat between two guys" says Tony. Hmm. Let's see: Liam and Tony, mano-a- mcmano, off for a brisk walk to a place where there is a very large sign which reads 'DANGER'. What could possibly go wrong?
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Rosie: nurture or nature?
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the July 14 episode on CBC
How exactly did Rosie Webster find herself in a hotel room, half naked with her boss? (turn left at the concierge's desk and go up two floors - ed). And why did she act in such a way as to incur the wrath of a towering Scottish presence (The Bay City Rollers? - ed)
Her dad. Kevin, has been trying to figure out why Rosie betrayed him (by furnishing the Tonester with confidential business info) and why she seems to be the source of so much trouble and aggravation.
"After all we've done for her, the money we spent at Oak Hill and she turns round and does that," says Kev bitterly.
"She's just so eager to get on and make her mark," says Sally by way of explanation.
It may be true that Rosie is ambitious. She seems to want what many 17 year-olds want: money, status, cars and hot dates (so how does Saj fit in - ed). But why? After all, it was just a short while ago that she was dressing in black and hanging out with a goth boyfriend. If she wanted to make her mark, why didn't Rosie stay at Oak Hill, get a good education and escape from the Street. Kev and Sally squeezed their finances to pay for that school (at the expense of Sophie) - but it amounted to nothing.
Here she is working in a backstreet factory with no real prospects (like Sally). You can blame Kev and Sally's parenting style if you want (Sally too prescriptive and Kevin too detached) or maybe their past indiscretions (Kevin & Nathalie; Sally & Ian Davenport et al). You can even blame Sally as a role model, constantly dissatisfied with her lot in life and ready to make bad choices to get ahead whether it's expanding Kevin's business or getting 'tutored' by John Stapes. Or, perhaps it comes down to the genes (you mean those two guys on Canal Street? - ed).
In many ways Rosie is a lot like her mum and that's probably not a good thing - but ultimately it doesn't matter whether it's a question of nature or nurture. She's made some mistakes and we can attribute some of that to naivete and foolish youth - but things like blackmail and betrayal. Well, as Kevin says, "Rosie made a choice."
How exactly did Rosie Webster find herself in a hotel room, half naked with her boss? (turn left at the concierge's desk and go up two floors - ed). And why did she act in such a way as to incur the wrath of a towering Scottish presence (The Bay City Rollers? - ed)
Her dad. Kevin, has been trying to figure out why Rosie betrayed him (by furnishing the Tonester with confidential business info) and why she seems to be the source of so much trouble and aggravation.
"After all we've done for her, the money we spent at Oak Hill and she turns round and does that," says Kev bitterly.
"She's just so eager to get on and make her mark," says Sally by way of explanation.
It may be true that Rosie is ambitious. She seems to want what many 17 year-olds want: money, status, cars and hot dates (so how does Saj fit in - ed). But why? After all, it was just a short while ago that she was dressing in black and hanging out with a goth boyfriend. If she wanted to make her mark, why didn't Rosie stay at Oak Hill, get a good education and escape from the Street. Kev and Sally squeezed their finances to pay for that school (at the expense of Sophie) - but it amounted to nothing.
Here she is working in a backstreet factory with no real prospects (like Sally). You can blame Kev and Sally's parenting style if you want (Sally too prescriptive and Kevin too detached) or maybe their past indiscretions (Kevin & Nathalie; Sally & Ian Davenport et al). You can even blame Sally as a role model, constantly dissatisfied with her lot in life and ready to make bad choices to get ahead whether it's expanding Kevin's business or getting 'tutored' by John Stapes. Or, perhaps it comes down to the genes (you mean those two guys on Canal Street? - ed).
In many ways Rosie is a lot like her mum and that's probably not a good thing - but ultimately it doesn't matter whether it's a question of nature or nurture. She's made some mistakes and we can attribute some of that to naivete and foolish youth - but things like blackmail and betrayal. Well, as Kevin says, "Rosie made a choice."
Friday, June 19, 2009
Il Skivo
Spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the July 18 episode on CBC
Let's deal with the mundane first.
Teresa has made a startling bedside confession to Jerry (she makes a lousy apple pie and custard? - ed). Much to my surprise, she has come clean and told the Kebab King (TM) that she is responsible for giving him too many pills and reducing his blood to the consistency of a cup of weak tea at Roy's Rolls. Jerry is shocked. Teresa has pulled a lot of reprehensible stunts (extra marital affairs, abandoning the kids, lying, conning Lloyd into paternity payouts for his 'son' Finlay, using Sally Webster's conservatory as a giant ashtray, etc etc) but this one takes the cake. Jerry threatens to call 999 (note: subtract 88 for Canadian equivalent). Teresa leaves. She's a bad seed but, let's face it, she didn't have to confess at all. She could have stayed quiet and probably would have gotten away with it. Suddenly, against all odds, she starts to show a little depth and complexity. I'm just wondering if it's too little, too late.
But all this is just prologue to the singing debut of Vernon Tomlin whose pipes reveal an earthy, earnest country/folk/pop sensibility -- without the usual good looks, talent and charisma which burden most singing superstars. He's like 1/4 (1/8th surely - ed) of the singing group Il Divo. Call him 'Il Skivo'. But I digress. Vernon's breakup with Liz has inspired songs and lyrics that we will never forget (try as we might). Let's not wait one second more before releasing a CD. I can see it now....
Vernon Tomlin's Greatest Hits
Side 1
Wichita potman
Stayin' askive
Slip, slippin' away... (pending Paul Simon lawsuit)
Time please
Side 2
I'll have the full English (but my love is half baked)
Ice and a slice... of my heart
Bang the drum slowly (Vernon's productivity song)
(Don't fall into) The Mason's Arms
Order now and get a free hotpot! That's it for this week. Enjoy the Sunday omnibus episode. Thanks for visiting and I'll be back next Tuesday.
Let's deal with the mundane first.
Teresa has made a startling bedside confession to Jerry (she makes a lousy apple pie and custard? - ed). Much to my surprise, she has come clean and told the Kebab King (TM) that she is responsible for giving him too many pills and reducing his blood to the consistency of a cup of weak tea at Roy's Rolls. Jerry is shocked. Teresa has pulled a lot of reprehensible stunts (extra marital affairs, abandoning the kids, lying, conning Lloyd into paternity payouts for his 'son' Finlay, using Sally Webster's conservatory as a giant ashtray, etc etc) but this one takes the cake. Jerry threatens to call 999 (note: subtract 88 for Canadian equivalent). Teresa leaves. She's a bad seed but, let's face it, she didn't have to confess at all. She could have stayed quiet and probably would have gotten away with it. Suddenly, against all odds, she starts to show a little depth and complexity. I'm just wondering if it's too little, too late.
But all this is just prologue to the singing debut of Vernon Tomlin whose pipes reveal an earthy, earnest country/folk/pop sensibility -- without the usual good looks, talent and charisma which burden most singing superstars. He's like 1/4 (1/8th surely - ed) of the singing group Il Divo. Call him 'Il Skivo'. But I digress. Vernon's breakup with Liz has inspired songs and lyrics that we will never forget (try as we might). Let's not wait one second more before releasing a CD. I can see it now....
Vernon Tomlin's Greatest Hits
Side 1
Wichita potman
Stayin' askive
Slip, slippin' away... (pending Paul Simon lawsuit)
Time please
Side 2
I'll have the full English (but my love is half baked)
Ice and a slice... of my heart
Bang the drum slowly (Vernon's productivity song)
(Don't fall into) The Mason's Arms
Order now and get a free hotpot! That's it for this week. Enjoy the Sunday omnibus episode. Thanks for visiting and I'll be back next Tuesday.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The Webster's Dictionary
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 10 episode on CBC
VA-CA-TION Pronunciation:\vā-ˈkā-shən, və-\
VA-CA-TION Pronunciation:\vā-ˈkā-shən, və-\
- Function:
- noun
- Usage:
- often expletive (as in "Sal, are we going on this bloody vacation or not?")
- Etymology:
- Middle English vacacioun, from Anglo-French vacacion, from Latin vacation-, vacatio freedom, exemption, from vacare, Manchester-area dialect origins unknown (ask Roy Cropper or the Weatherfield Historical Society)
- Date:
- 14th century (first used by Ena Sharples, I believe)
1: a bad idea especially when Kevin's garage is on its last legs and in financial peril thanks to Tony Gordon
2: a very expensive proposition especially when you add up the drinking costs for Bill, jet ski rental for Sophie, multiple thong purchases for Rosie and fancy restaurant expenses (tablecloths and cutlery, please) for Sally
3: period of exemption from work granted to an employee like Sally Webster who will be replaced by Julie (that's right, Kirk's Julie) or a personal assistant like Rosie Webster with a cellphone camera full of incriminating photos.
4: period spent away from the Webster's a new home and its gorgeous conservatory (aka 'giant ash tray' -- according to Teresa next door).
5: leisure activity conducive to protracted bickering between Sophie and Rosie which could result in Sophie running a jet ski across Rosie's favourite tube top - while Rosie is still wearing it.
6: timely opportunity for tensions about the garage and Kev's hate-on for Tony to explode into a big row on the beach between Kev and Sally while they splash on SPF 400 to keep the sun from roasting their pale Weatherfield epidermis.
7: situation where it's impossible to get a good cup of tea or a pint like back 'ome.
2: a very expensive proposition especially when you add up the drinking costs for Bill, jet ski rental for Sophie, multiple thong purchases for Rosie and fancy restaurant expenses (tablecloths and cutlery, please) for Sally
3: period of exemption from work granted to an employee like Sally Webster who will be replaced by Julie (that's right, Kirk's Julie) or a personal assistant like Rosie Webster with a cellphone camera full of incriminating photos.
4: period spent away from the Webster's a new home and its gorgeous conservatory (aka 'giant ash tray' -- according to Teresa next door).
5: leisure activity conducive to protracted bickering between Sophie and Rosie which could result in Sophie running a jet ski across Rosie's favourite tube top - while Rosie is still wearing it.
6: timely opportunity for tensions about the garage and Kev's hate-on for Tony to explode into a big row on the beach between Kev and Sally while they splash on SPF 400 to keep the sun from roasting their pale Weatherfield epidermis.
7: situation where it's impossible to get a good cup of tea or a pint like back 'ome.
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